While I was watching golf last weekend, until George Bush Senior ruined it for me and I had to turn off the TV and get off the couch, I became intrigued by all the sponsorship and product placement. Everybody had a name shirt, name hat, name bag and it was all the same big sports names.

While I have yet to see him on TV, I am told (by Brendan and Nancy) that golfer John Daly has more interesting sponsors, like Hooters and 84 Lumber Company. He's also a real fatso and is alleged to wear his hair in a mullet but I couldn't find any pictures of that. I did see a nice mullet on the uptown N train on the way to work today. It looked sort of knitted, with a kind of ombre effect, from the guy's dark roots down to the overprocessed margarine color ends. But nicely combed and very long. It was hard to figure out where someone with hair like that might have worked in Midtown Manhattan. If I see him again I will ask.

I got to thinking that I need some golf sponsors, knitting related golf sponsors. I'd venture to say that none of the professional women golfers have knitting sponsors, but I haven't been able to find any women's golf on TV yet to find out. I would like Colinette yarn to sponsor me. I'd like it a lot! I'd develop a free pattern using their Point 5 yarn for their website - they could have a Celebrity Golfer Pattern link, and I'd be on it. If I was a celebrity golfer, I could afford to use Point 5 for some golf covers - that would probably run me $60 retail.

In between shots, I would be sure to be seen using my Denise Interchangable Needles. No, they are not named after me, but they do come in a very nice carrying case with "Denise" embossed on the front. I got a set for my birthday from my mother last year, and my sister Karen thought she had the case personalized for me and it caused a little sibling jealously. All the TV announcers would comment on how easy they looked to use and how fast I can knit with them, and then they could be sold in golf shops with all those other obsessive accessories.

I would really want to be sponsored by Ziploc bags, though. Ziploc bags are a knitter's best friend and I can see some golf uses for them as well. You could put your golf shoes in them, and balls too. I use a separate Ziploc for each project, with all the yarn and needles and patterns right in the bag. Gallon size ones for smaller projects, and those monster Big Bags for sweaters. The advertising on the front of the big bags is misleading - you cannot put five soccer balls in one, or nine winter coats, but you can spend many relaxing hours moving stash from one big bag to another.