Knit 2 Par 3

Sunday, March 02, 2008

That's Exactly Right: Zombies

We had to stay in the house the entire day yesterday because our town was under attack by zombies.

You heard me: Zombies. Like many NJ towns with a lot of liquor licenses, we have an annual "St Patrick's Day" parade that attracts tens of thousands of post college tourists to drink beer in the streets, pee on our houses, vomit in our hallways, wear unattractive green ensembles and stagger around with dangerously high levels of blood alcohol from about 8 in the morning. I started out at 10 to go to the gym, and run some errands, but I had to turn back after a few blocks because I was frightened of the gangs men wearing Bermuda shorts and flip flops, and girls wearing, well, hardly anything.

Here are some things you can do if your town is under zombie attack:

  • Stay in the house and sort through your yarn stash.

  • Unscrew the light bulbs in the hall of your already scary apartment building hallway. Zombies are almost always live with their parents in the suburbs, and therefore are reluctant to go into dark places alone.

  • While you are taking pictures of a public urinater, yell - I'm calling your boss at (name of big accounting firm here). Its a scattered shot approach but often you hit the nail right on the head, causing them to pee on themselves.
After I sorted through my stash, and drank some Bactine as a prophylaxis, I worked on a few sweaters and even got through both sleeves on one of them and finished it up. Here is a picture from happier times:

The sweater I finished is a lacy number using Dale of Norway Baby Ull mixed with Rowan Kid Silk Haze. The Rowan gave the Baby Ull a great halo of mohair without any of the itch. I will have some pictures tomorrow I think.

I also worked on the Pub Crawler Men's Sweater in the Son of Stitch n Bitch book. After all the cables in this one, though, I'd rename it something less jaunty like: I Know You Protected Me From Zombie Attack So I Knitted You This Sweater.


Blogger Paper Tiger said...

Oh, I so don't miss that. The barfing at 10 am.

3/03/2008 03:05:00 AM  

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