Yeah, Queens.

I've been home for a few days while my place of employment moves from fun, funky, yarn- store- heaven Chelsea to... to... to... Queens.

Are you from Queens? Well, I bet you don't live there now. Having only been to Queens once, and never in the daytime, I took a trial run to the new office today. I got a little lost, but now I know to make a right at the quarry, and that if I go past the third topless bar, well, I've gone too far.

It's a real New York thing to find your way in a new neighborhood, as long as where you are has actually been charted on a map and given a faboo nickname. And it is even funner to live in a neighborhood where a famous movie was shot, as long as that movie isn't Eraserhead.

As he tenderly mopped my tears with his hankie, John said: "just think how fun it will be to explore at lunchtime, and how happy you will be when you find a hardware store near your office".

What?

Last week, I was within easy lunchtime distance to Habu Textiles, School Products, Downtown Yarns, Knit New York and Purl. Now, even with the help of this kick ass yarn store mapper, I am far, far away from yarn of any kind.

But I am not to far from a hardware store.