No Sharp Objects Allowed

Fullfilled my civic duty today with 7 hours of grueling, unknitting jury duty. My plan was to discreetly slip in a set of bamboo double pointed sock needles - sock needles, for god's sake, the short ones! to finish up the Sock Wars socks that are hanging like a DK albatross around my neck.

But you cannot bring sharp objects of any kind into the courthouse. The No Sharp Objects Allowed sign listed box cutters, bowie knives, tweezers and everything except knitting needles, so I thought, as I waited on line with all the rest of the unlucky civilians, that I had a chance. The security guard wanted to know as he examined all five: are knitting needles sharp? I considered saying no, but then couldn't quickly figure out a way to cleverly explain the points on both ends.

In the end I was left with just yarn, and a long day with only the hope of teaching myself some prison crafts. Like macrame! You'd have to be in the hoosgow for some bad thing to take up that as a craft. Prisoners are encouraged to knit and crochet during arts and crafts, but they seem to be encouraged to make only bathroom accessories.

Happily there was no shortage of back issues of Golf Digest and Golf for Women laying around the jury duty waiting room. And no one wanted to look at them but me. I did find a good tip in one of them: a suggestion to use a wood instead of a pitching wedge to get a ball out of that area that is just outside of the fringe around the green. What's that area called? I think it's called the weeds. Use the same half shot you would use with the pitching wedge and the size of the wood will move the ball out of that messy grass and not overshoot the green.

I only had to serve just this one day. I think I was excused because I kept nodding off at the table, like a junkie.