Knit 2 Par 3

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Get Well Soon, but Relax a Little First

While I was unsurprised to hear that Tiger Woods is out of the game for a while due to that boo boo knee, I was surprised to hear his absence described as " out for the rest of the season". As Brendan pointed out, there is maybe one week during the year when some kind of golf isn't going on somewhere. Imagine if you only knit with wool during "the season"? Golf and knitting are season-less activities.

That said, Tiger is going to have to fill up some time while he is not doing his golfing job. He could learn to knit, of course. You might remember that I was unemployed for most of last summer and fall, so I have some good tips for a long haul at home to share.

First, he should get one of those Swiffer mops. I picked up an off-again/on-again cleaning habit when I wasn't working, and swiffin the Swiffer was an important part of the day. I picked up so much pet hair every day I considered learning to spin it into yarn. But I only considered it for a minute.

Another good thing he can do is have coffee with the neighbor ladies every day at 10:30. I live in a little town so almost everyone falls into that category of neighbors so there were plenty of other shiftless people with whom to sit and shoot the breeze. I am sure his neighbors would enjoy getting to know him better now that he is home for a bit even though maybe no one lives right next door to him.

It's also good to go to the library every week. Someone could probably drive him.

Finally, he should spend a lot of time on the Internet, Googling himself and researching cures for his knee. Recently, the woman who sits behind us at Yankee Stadium met Derek Jeter, the other famous golfer, and he politely shook her hand. She now calls her right hand The Jeter Hand and claims it has miraculous powers. She's a really nice lady, I bet she'd come over and give Tiger a little pat on the knee.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You just crack me up!

6/20/2008 06:43:00 AM  

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