In Just Seven Days I Can Make You a Man

Because I am a really fast knitter.

Inspired by this post on knitted Spock Ears (or truthfully, maybe dismayed and weirded out by that post) I figured that in pretty short order I could knit myself a whole man using patterns from the World Wide of Web. I think if you are going to make one, though, you should use just scrap yarn.

First, like Janet Weiss, I don't like a man with too many muscles, so I'd use this body pattern. I'd fill it with a combination of lavender (because a man should smell good) and beans (because they are good for your heart) and newspapers (because we have a lot of newspaper in this house).

A nice face is important, along with a friendly smile. And some kind of facial hair is required although head hair is definitely optional in my crowd. You could use any pattern for gloves for hands and socks for the feet, and of course I am going to refer you to the Knitters Handy Book of Patterns for that.

Before you stuff the body, though, be sure to knit up a brain, and these internal organs. Be sure he has a heart that will inspire him to do the dishes. And don't forget a girl might like a little fun from time to time, so knit up a few of these.

Use some Velcro and make them detachable!