I Am The Last To Know

Did you know that there is a TV show about knitting? Of course you knew. I think I sort of knew too from seeing the advertisements in the thousands of knitting magazines I buy, and digging the hostess's cute hairdo in the pictures, but I didn't know I could get that show on MY television. Our cable provider had a free week of the Golf Channel, and right there next to the golf was the knitting, just like it is in nature.

And it's on every day! Just like golf. And it has an audience, just like golf. I was so inspired about the similarities and differences I felt a Venn diagram coming on, but I couldn't figure out how to insert one in this here blog. But just to note:

• You can knit and watch knitting on the couch at the same time. You cannot play golf and watch golf on the couch at the same time.

• Both knitting and golf shows need Doc Severenson.

• You can yell at the screen when watching both shows. But yelling In The Hole! is not so helpful at any time.

Both shows are improved with a big glass of red wine. Both shows are on in the daytime, making you wonder about that big glass of red wine.

If A Tree Falls in the Forest...

and no one is there to hear it when it hits the ground: did it make a sound?

And if you knit like a crazy person for three months on holiday gifts, and then you forget to take a picture of anything, did the knitting really happen? What is the sound of one hand clapping on your forehead in disbelief as you drive off in the car?

Reader, there are no pictures of the 2007 Holiday knitting.

Let's move on. I do have some nice pictures of the big old girls in non-holiday hats. Here is Clementine wearing We Call Them Pirates, a fun knit. In fact, this is only a two color fair isle, with almost no ends to weave in, so the reverse side is purrrrrrfect. I might ask her to wear it inside out:


Emily wanted a slouchy beret made out of some leftover Cashmerino but I wanted a tam o' shanter with a nice decrease pattern which makes for more interesting knitting. We compromised on this Tam o' Slouchy, using the (most excellent) basic tam pattern from Anne Budd's Book of Knitting Patterns:



A rare picture of Emily with her hair down, I think. Anyway here's the crown of the hat.

Men Are People Too

Being married almost 20 years now, it's been a long time since I've had to think too much about What Men Want. I've figured out most of what I need to know, but I have been sorely deficient for a long time in figuring out what men want from knitting and now thanks to Debbie Stoller's new book Son of Stitch 'n Bitch, I know.

The introduction to the book reads like a good relationship article in the Glamour magazine of my 1980's youth but geared towards a better relationship between a guy and your knits. For example:

• we all know the best way to a man's heart is to somehow get the word "naked" into your message. Stoller suggests yarns that feel better next to skin will be worn more frequently. How smart is that?

• in addition, garments made from superwash that your guy can put into the washing machine by hisself is better than stuff that you will have to hand wash when you see it in a pile on the floor.

• The shocking revelation that grey, blue and black are colors.

And my total favorite,the admonition that a man is "not a dog you can dress in whatever you think will make him look cute".

Really, I think you should buy this book. I've Ravel'ed nine of the projects already this morning, and I only know three guys for whom I would knit anything. There are some nice patterns by internet favs Adrian Bizilia and Jared Flood, and the technique section is expanded to include Double Knitting, knitting gloves on 2 circulars, intarsia for socks and most importantly, knitting at work under your desk.

Knitting and Golf: Tied

It took me a while to recover from cutting up that sweater earlier this week, but I was back in the operating room with an extremely complicated bit of blocking on Brendan's birthday tie. First here's the goods on the guy:



Looks swell, doesn't it? I used this pattern for general outline of what a 52" tie should look like, and I also used some Briar Rose sock weight yarn, and used size 1 needles in a double seed stitch pattern. Can you imagine? When I finally casted off, the edges were curly and the whole thing was warped, and it looked like an intestine and I thought I was going to die.

I admit when it comes to blocking a piece I am very casual. If I can get away with it, I try not to block a thing at all. But if a tie is too skinny, or god forbid too wide, you might as well make a toy intestine out of it. I blocked this piece, eggzakly to the schematic in the pattern, inch by inch. Then, after sewing it together I re-blocked the sucker. Double block! I'm a believer.

A few months ago I had found a golf button in a button store on East 9th Street. Just one button though, and tiny, with two crossed golf clubs over a golf ball, sort of like a baronial crest. So John soldered it on to a tie clip for the tie. This picture isn't great, but you get the idea:

Steek!

Last summer I bought some lovely, lovely alpaca at Woodstock Wool Company and I thought I would break down and knit my husband a sweater. Even though we are married a long time, being a superstitious person I didn't want to invoke that guy sweater thing just in case.

Friends, more than halfway through I realized the sweater was wrong. It was the wrong yarn and the wrong pattern and it fit wrong and it draped wrong and it was 14 inches in the round of wrong wrong wrong.

I knew I could...unravel it. Or hide it! Or keep knitting it and end up divorced! But instead - snip! Right up the front and now it's enjoying a new incarnation as a modified Minimalist Cardigan.

Was it hard? You betcha. Scissors on knitting is a bad sound, kind of like the word "episiotomy". But it saved my hours of hard work and maybe even my marriage.

Chrishannukuumba

Like most of you, I've been knitting like a crazy person since Halloween to finish up all the knitty things I want to have finished for the month of December. I have a cedar chest full of FO but since they will be cheerfully distributed over the next few weeks to many of you, dear readers, I have been unable to show pictures of what I have been working on. But the rest of you get the idea.

Right now I am just weaving in (a lot) of loose ends so I spent Saturday (several hours and all my money) at the spectacular Craftacular where I bought some super sassy hand spun from this cute gal here on the left. With great regret I must report I was in such a rush to cast on with the yarn I threw out the tag with her name on it. Sorry Pretty Girl! This is what happens when you sell to junkies like me.


I bought some other yarn too, and took some more pictures of some other crafty ladies there, and they took pictures of me too, but you can see those another time, maybe tomorrow. I did want to show you my own Chrishannukuumba Day gift to myself, though.

Please Let There Be Knitting on Project Runway

I ran over to M & J Trimming at lunchtime today for some absurdly archaic craft item and saw that every FIT student was sportin' some version of the Christian hair-do. Maybe not everyone, maybe 6 out of 10 people, a good solid 60%.

It got me wishing again that Project Runway would have a knitting segment. I know only a few of us can knit a sock in 8 minutes, but who would not enjoy an entire hour of watching knitting on TV? All that last minute frogging? And I bet the hippy chick would use my tried and true spit splicing method for changing colors.

But back to this hairdo. Upon close inspection I think it may be a version of the comb-over.