Golf Overdose

Here's a lesson learned: one game of golf in a weekend is fun, but two games of golf in one weekend is madness. My right arm is just about lame from my faulty swing, making it difficult to knit for the remainder of the Memorial Day Holiday.

It did not, however, make it difficult to shop, even though we spent all our money on gas that I still can't believe we have to pump ourselves. While I usually blow any extra dough on my drug of choice, I did buy a camping spork at Daytrip Society. I wonder how this store got a license to open in right out front in Kport without a supply of foam lobsters and Red Sox necrophilia?

On the long ride home I pondered just how much Noro I could get for my share of the republican hush money. I haven't yet found anyone on this weirdly compelling blog who has spent his or her dough on yarn.

But a surprising number of people spent it on guns.

It's Just Like Riding A Bike

I dusted off the clubs this weekend for our regular trip to Maine and played 9 holes with my brother in law, Jimmy. The weather was Maine-perfect: not too cold, not too rainy, not too buggy. And I played not too bad!  And in Jimmy I found a - well, evenly matched player.  I was happy with my mostly straight shots, but I really need to hit the driving range because while straight, my shots don't go very far unless I really concentrate on pulling my club back farther than seems natural.  We are going to play again tomorrow in the morning.

Since all our corporeal needs are attended to by my lovely mother-in-law during our Maine visits, I was able to spend most of the rest of the day working on the Poetry Mittens. 

When was the last time I got to spend Most of the Rest of the Day working on any knitting? It was heaven.  It's an exciting project, but very slow going.  

Let Me Tell You About This Golf Movie That Was On TV Last Night

A golf movie? A golf movie musical? A golf movie musical with Yiddish and tap dancing?

Lots of movies have characters who knit, but there are really not that many movies about golf that I have seen. The Caddy, that's a good one.

But this! Called Love in the Rough starring the very bewitching Robert Montgomery, and I believe it could be my all time favorite golf movie musical. You might be able to catch it here sometime this month and you should stay up late to watch it.

It's often difficult to get the context of a movie when you are watching it almost 80 years later and this one will keep your puzzler puzzling. There's a good three minute bit between two caddies entirely in Yiddish. And then the tap dancing, believe me, not your typical Hollywood razzamatazz. I wasn't able to find a clip of Earl "Snakehips" Tucker from the movie, but imagine him doing this exact same dance on a golf course.

Well, in golf there is a lot of down time while you are waiting for your partners to figure out what the hell to do next. I thought about bringing some knitting. But now, bubele, I am going to bring my tap shoes.

TV: Good for What Ails You

You know all that coughing I have been doing all winter? Well, I found out it was pneumonia. First, I thought it was that winter cold that everyone in my office passed around. Then as it progressed into the spring, I figured it was just allergies. Even though I feel exactly the same way I did all winter I gave in to having a Disease this week and spent a lot of time laying on the couch, catching up on TIVO'd episodes of Knitty Gritty.

While I probably wouldn't knit anything I've seen on that show, I do adore Vicki Howell's haircut and I generally find the little tips useful. But this week, I was totally blown away by a cast off demonstrated by Annie Modesitt, and I used it on my Mr. Greenjean's sweater. Here it is:


The simple directions are here, but it looks absolutely positively machine made. It also gives a nice stretchy but firm cast off. I just love it when a home made thing looks mass produced, I really do: My favorite cupcakes in the one lone gourmet shop in my work neighborhood are the ones that look like Hostess cupcakes. And if I could remember how to turn my oven on, I'd probably enjoy baking these Fake Twinkies for just the same reason.

Knitters Never Retire

I guess it's a real milestone for women's golf when a player of the stature of Annika Sorenstam retires from competition at the ripe old age of 38. Although she is the second largest earning women's golfer, bring in around $1.2M this year, she earned only about 25% of what Tiger Woods earned during 2008.

Her press release said she would be trying to play more golf after she retired. Ha! I thought up that line on the PATH train today and laughed all the way to the 23rd Street stop.

Knitters, happily, never have to retire. But, if she had just let me know a few days earlier, I could have knitted a "bye" glove for her to wear in this picture.

A New Low

Truth be told: I bought this yarn with no intention of knitting anything out of it. I just loved the oranges and grays together so much I actually bought two skeins that were left in the widows and orphans bin. It's not enough yarn for anything. But isn't it beautiful, here, tiptoeing through the tulips?

Hi

Brendan did a performance last week and a lot of it was about saying Hi. And while I was sitting there drinking my $4 glass of wine, I got to thinking: how many times a day do I say "Hi"? A lot at work, maybe a million times a day and that is not an exaggeration. It is the glue that holds my job together, saying Hi. I knew what I was going to knit as soon as I got home from Brooklyn that night and it was this:


I did make two gloves but only one has Hi, the other one is plain for those days when I am feeling a little shy.

As the man says, Hi is really just short hand for saying everything is truly grand with the world I hope that we can be friends. But that is too much knitting to put on a glove.

Hi

What you need: 1 set of size 6 dpn; 1 skein Patons Classic Wool Merino (223 yards) and about 20 yards of any other wool that will contrast sharply with your main color. Don't be subtle!

Gauge: well, just about 20 stitches for 4 inches. Don't get caught up in the gauge for this one, this is art.

Okay let's go: CO 36 inches and join round, being careful not to twist, frug or pony. Work in a K1P1 rib for about 3 inches or so. Knit the next six rows.

You can make your favorite kind of thumb gusset at this point. This is the one that I prefer:

Row 1: K1, place marker. Make 1 in the next two stitches, place marker. You will have four stitches between markers. Knit the rest of the round to the marker.

Row 2: knit the entire round to the first marker

Row 3 : Slip marker, M1, k to stitch before marker, make one. You should have 6 stiches between the marker.

Repeat Rows 2 & 3 until you have 10 stitches betwen the marker and have knitted one row after that.

Next, knit to the first marker. Then bind off the next 10 stitches, and continue knitting. When you get to the end of the round at the bound off stitches, you can just knit the next live stitch, therefore joining the mitten again and making a nice thumb gusset.

Knit one more round and count the stitches on your needle. You will have 34 stitches on the needles at this point. Divide the stitches up among the three dpns, beginning at the thumb gusset, as follows: 16 on the first needle; 9 on the second and 9 on the third.

Using the chart below, k2, work pattern in chart using contrasting yarn, k 2 (first needle), k rest of round. You will need to carry the yarn through the entire round, so be neat and loose or else the mitten will squeeze your fingers.

X	X				x	X				x	x
X	X				X	x				x	x
X	X				X	x
X	X				X	x				x	x
X	X				X	x				x	x
X	X	x	x	x	X	x				x	x
X	X	x	x	x	X	x				x	x
X	X				X	x				x	x
X	X				X	x				x	x
X	X				X	x				x	x
X	X				x	x				x	x
X	x				x	x				x	x

Depending on how long you want to make the mitten, you can knit a few more rows and then bind off. Some people like to do a k1P1 rib at the top, but I didn't for this mitten.

For mitty number 2, just follow the pattern and omit the greeting.

Not So Gay Caballero

For the past two hours, I've been frogging a sweater with about 1,00o yards of that beautiful Taiyo yarn I told you about a few week. I had imagined a pattern for a loose fitting, drapey unstructured sweater and cast on with great gusto.

Well, I got a loose fitting, draped unstructured shmatte and although I didn't take a picture of it, it looked like this:



Sometimes the disconnect between the yarn in the skein and the yarn in the garment is heartbreaking.

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

We went to our first Yankee game of the season this week. "We" includes some knitting:


Hint: they check everyone's bags pretty thoroughly at Yankee Stadium, but almost never do a body search on a middle aged woman.