Handicapped

I've been pondering this handicap concept for a few days now. Thanks to Professor Brendan:

"Of course our biggest handicap is that we play golf at all. I have personally never gotten to the handicap stage, numbers may not go that high. You determine your handicap by officially posting your score for several rounds with a golf pro and then you get the magic number.

Handicaps: Every amateur player should have a handicap. This gives poor players or beginners an advantage. Let's look at an example.

John has a handicap of 24. He takes a shot on a hole that is par 4. John gets the ball in the whole, but takes five shots to do it. Because he has a handicap of 24 he can take off one shot, so he really gets a par. On some holes you can take more shots. This depends on the score index which determines how hard the hole is. This system is really good as it allows people of totally different levels to play against one another. However some people abuse the system and play with a high handicap in order to receive more shots. They are known as 'bandits' among other things."


Now, we kow that golf is hard. You have to keep your head down knees bent foot angled butt perched on a barstool arm straight wrist cocked thumbs down and that is even before you do anything. Like almost before you get out of the car! It's a miracle that anyone hits the ball at all. This handicap thing seems like a macho way of asking for a do-over. Just ask for the do over or friends, offer one to your fellow player. When you play golf you need a lot of love and kindness, and encouragement, not a handicap. And a snack, don't forget the snack. And a beer afterwards.

There is no such thing as a knitting handicap. You might have bad taste in yarn or pattern selection, and you could develop a handicap to correct for that. Let's use a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being "exquiste" and 10 being "crap". For example, you use worsted weight acrylic yarn for a baby sweater and you get a 10 score because that is totally crap. But, you pick a nice Debbie Bliss pattern so you get a handicap of 5 for that, so your total score on that project is 5 - not terrible, not great. Or you make a sweater using Colinette Point 5 and an a Teva Durham pattern (for sure, a score of 1) but your sweater makes you look like the Incredible Hulk. Where does that leave you?

Wondering why you even knit at all.