Another Thing on the List

Even though it was hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk today I played a swell game of golf with Brendan and Lou. Where did we play? In their living room. How did we do that?

Wii Golf. Did you know about this? I did not. Well of course I had heard about the Wii but I didn't realize you could play golf in your pajamas while drinking good, strong coffee with the air conditioner on.

Even in a golf video game my swing lacks follow through, and my putting is all over the place. Brendan got a hole in one, and he wasn't even wearing shoes! I came in second, but Lou had some pretty good swings and it was a close call.

See? That's not gloating about beating a six year old. That's the good sportsmanship that is the hallmark of golf.

Of course, the killer app for the Wii would be knitting. This guy thought of it all ready and my tam o'shanter goes off to him

In Just Seven Days I Can Make You a Man

Because I am a really fast knitter.

Inspired by this post on knitted Spock Ears (or truthfully, maybe dismayed and weirded out by that post) I figured that in pretty short order I could knit myself a whole man using patterns from the World Wide of Web. I think if you are going to make one, though, you should use just scrap yarn.

First, like Janet Weiss, I don't like a man with too many muscles, so I'd use this body pattern. I'd fill it with a combination of lavender (because a man should smell good) and beans (because they are good for your heart) and newspapers (because we have a lot of newspaper in this house).

A nice face is important, along with a friendly smile. And some kind of facial hair is required although head hair is definitely optional in my crowd. You could use any pattern for gloves for hands and socks for the feet, and of course I am going to refer you to the Knitters Handy Book of Patterns for that.

Before you stuff the body, though, be sure to knit up a brain, and these internal organs. Be sure he has a heart that will inspire him to do the dishes. And don't forget a girl might like a little fun from time to time, so knit up a few of these.

Use some Velcro and make them detachable!

Words Knitted Down

My very first FOs were mittens. I had (and still have) this great book, Jack Frost Two Needle Mittens for Everyone, which I purchased at Woolworth's in New Brunswick for fifty cents when I was about 18. Everybody can use a pair of mittens, and to knit a good fit you usually have to hold hands at least sometimes with the recipient so you can get an idea of the size you need to knit, so there is pleasure for both the knitter and the knittee there.

I wanted to knit the Poetry Mittens to commemorate an event or an idea. I admire this girl's political knitting but I wanted something more personal, something someone taking her hands out of her pocket could look at, remember and think about.

A couple of months ago Clem and I attended one of her dad's performances and we had a good time. Brendan read something he wrote about constancy and steadfastness and purpose that seemed like a very good thing to knit about on these mittens and so here they are, knitted down words. You can't wear the mittens, but you can hear the words here.

Get Well Soon, but Relax a Little First

While I was unsurprised to hear that Tiger Woods is out of the game for a while due to that boo boo knee, I was surprised to hear his absence described as " out for the rest of the season". As Brendan pointed out, there is maybe one week during the year when some kind of golf isn't going on somewhere. Imagine if you only knit with wool during "the season"? Golf and knitting are season-less activities.

That said, Tiger is going to have to fill up some time while he is not doing his golfing job. He could learn to knit, of course. You might remember that I was unemployed for most of last summer and fall, so I have some good tips for a long haul at home to share.

First, he should get one of those Swiffer mops. I picked up an off-again/on-again cleaning habit when I wasn't working, and swiffin the Swiffer was an important part of the day. I picked up so much pet hair every day I considered learning to spin it into yarn. But I only considered it for a minute.

Another good thing he can do is have coffee with the neighbor ladies every day at 10:30. I live in a little town so almost everyone falls into that category of neighbors so there were plenty of other shiftless people with whom to sit and shoot the breeze. I am sure his neighbors would enjoy getting to know him better now that he is home for a bit even though maybe no one lives right next door to him.

It's also good to go to the library every week. Someone could probably drive him.

Finally, he should spend a lot of time on the Internet, Googling himself and researching cures for his knee. Recently, the woman who sits behind us at Yankee Stadium met Derek Jeter, the other famous golfer, and he politely shook her hand. She now calls her right hand The Jeter Hand and claims it has miraculous powers. She's a really nice lady, I bet she'd come over and give Tiger a little pat on the knee.

One Hand Tied Behind His Back

Even if you are just a knitter, you have to be amazed at Tiger Woods' win yesterday. He played some good games over five days with only one working leg. And because you're probably not a golfer let me tell you a secret: he didn't beat anybody but himself. You can play golf with a friend and you can knit in a group, but in the end it's you and the (golf or yarn) ball.

As a little celebration here is Knitter/Golfer Ingrid's pattern for some swell golf socks. Ingrid, by the way, shot a 78 last week.

World Wide Sit in Public Day

Glad to report that I am back in the knitting saddle again, having figured out the right combination of ice packs, anti inflammatory drugs and stretching exercises. I took it easy, though, yesterday, doing more sitting than knitting, admiring everyone's work and enjoying river breezes.


Devon was working on the Brooklyn Bridge scarf from Son of Stitch and Bitch, and it was an awesome piece of double knitting. There's Jean and Clementine on the right joining us after their late night celebration of Clementine's graduation.


My favorite project of the day was this thrifty scrap yarn Log Cabin blanket, coming out in public for the first time.


This year, no one asked us what we were doing or in fact even gave us a second look, so maybe WWKIP Day has succeeded in freeing any man, woman and child in Hoboken to knit in public.

Thanks again to the team photographer and Patricia for making this a fun day!

Doctor! It Hurts When I Do This!

Well, don't do that!

I guess that's the best advice anyone is going to give you when you get a knitting injury. I did try a little knitting over the weekend - as if anyone with any sense handles wool in 100 degree weather in a house with no air conditioning - and it hurt like hell after about 5 minutes. Not to mention that even to get to the five minutes of knitting I was wearing so much protective supportive equipment on my arm and wrist that I just could have added a cup and not thought anything about it.

I have just a tiny bit to go on one of the Poetry mittens, which are a gift for Clem and I want to have it done by the end of this week. I guess half a pair of mittens is a fine gift for a heatwave, half being business as usual for some at that house.

I got a few good tips on dealing with my boo boo arm from Ravelry, as well as some links for one-handed knitting contraptions that I plan to put together with some of the left over hardware from Ikea. Most importantly I got some reward for my troubles, in the form of that knitting merit badge up there in the corner: the “Knitting Has Forced Me to Seek Medical Attention” Badge (Level One) – In which the recipient has been forced to seek the advice of a healthcare professional for injuries sustained as a result of knitting".

You're Invited!

Margaux and I say Come On Down to Our Little Town!

Thanks to this guy for the nice poster.

A Few Pots in the Backyard Does Not a Garden Make

I'm on the DL again with a repeat of the knitting injury. I'm pretty down in the dumps about it this time, since I am in the middle of a lot of things: the poetry mittens, that Pubcrawler sweater, a pair of socks and just learned how to speak Finnish so I could cast on this scarf. I've been keeping to no more than 5 or 10 minutes of knitting at a time, 3 or four times at night, with long rests in between.

I wonder if there is some kind of knitting affect disorder that you get when you have to stop knitting for a while. Of course, I did stop knitting for about 10 years and the little I can recall of that time leads me to believe I should have kept knitting.

I thought I'd cheer myself up by taking the Hoboken Historical Museum Garden Tour on Sunday, but it only served to under line that to have a really good garden I would need to give up something to work on it, like maybe earning a living.

This is my kitchen window, seen from the neighbor's better manicured backyard.

At this one house, I realized that not only knitters harbor preposterous stash. Every inch of this garden was covered in wild and colorful plants, mostly in containers. And the most amazing thing to me is that the owners knew the names of all the plants. Nancy assures me that after a winter studying plant catalogs while in the bathroom, I too will be able to rattle off impressive Latin sounding flora names.


I was very close to shoving a man headfirst into a hedge in this pretty garden in one of the new "luxury" buildings on the Wild West Side of town when he suggested that without all the new construction, old established Hoboken 'hoods would be dangerous places for people - presumably people like him - to walk. Anyway this lovely Japanese maple saved the day.