The Yarn Store Employee Made Me Do It
Does this woman work at your Local Yarn Store?
She works at all of mine and was working full time this weekend when Lynn and I "took a quick ride over" to one of our regular knitter bordellos to "browse" at the "little sale" to maybe "find that Knitter magazine".
Everything was suspiciously easy on the trip. All the laundry was done, folded and put away so there was nothing to keep me home. We got a parking space right in front of the yarn store, and there was a lot of time left on the meter.
And when we got to the store, everything was on sale - not just a sad bin of of pilled-out turnip colored cashmerino orphans.
Everything. Even. Noro.
Now I swore that I would not buy any Noro for a while. I do love Noro for the colors, but I have to face it: it's very limited for actual garment construction. Socks made from the sock yarn feel like the paper slippers you get at the gynecologist. The silk blends have no body and are good only for scarves, and while Kuryeon is pretty spectacular, my horizontal stripe days are long past.
I was standing there, in front of the Noro, telling myself all these reasons and struggling with the thought of 20% off when the Devil came up to ask, in a seductive voice, if she could be of any help. I started stammering about stripes and cold feet and fifteen foot scarves and this is what followed:
Me (quietly, fearfully, to no one in particular): I think I will hold out on the Noro until I can justify buying enough Kuryeon for the Lizard Ridge Blanket.
Satan (cheerfully, brightly, directly into my ear): WELL! You know, with that particular pattern, you can just buy two or three skeins every time you go to a yarn store and in a couple of years, you'll have that Lizard Ridge done.
And there I was, undone. Reader, I bought two skeins. But they were on sale.
I fared better than Lynn, last seen running down the street with a garbage bag full of Malabrigo Gruesa and Ozark Handspun .